Ugliest Job Description Contest

We got an email this morning from a company that wanted a DBA with experience managing >200TB databases.  The salary started at $60,000.  That provoked a series of laughs on Twitter, and it got us thinking – what would be the worst SQL Server job description out there?

Dig back into your past, and your friends’ pasts, and think back to the jobs you’ve had.  What was the worst job environment you had?  Post it here in the comments before Monday, February 1st, and we’ll draw a random entry to win a copy of Professional SQL Server 2008 Internals and Troubleshooting signed by Brent Ozar, one of the authors.

Open to residents of the US, Canada, and the EU only (sorry, international shipping’s a mess.)  One entry per person only.  We reserve the right to delete any entries, especially yours.

DBAs and developers – let’s hear how bad you’ve had it!

Update February 1st: we picked a winner!  Well, two of them actually: we’re giving away copies to both Jorge Segarra and Kelly Martinez.  Congratulations, and thanks for playing!